


Simplicity

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-06
Updated: 2006-02-06
Packaged: 2019-01-19 01:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12400491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: When two souls, which have sought each other for however long in the throng, have finally found each other, there is then established for ever between them a union, a union which begins on earth and continues for ever in heaven. This union is love.





	Simplicity

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**Disclaimer: All characters you recognise belong to JK Rowling**

_**Simplicity** _

_"When two souls, which have sought each other for however long in the throng, have finally found each other, when they have seen that they are matched, are in sympathy and compatible, in a word, that they are alike, there is then established for ever between them a union, fiery and pure as they themselves are, a union which begins on earth and continues for ever in heaven. This union is love." - Victor Hugo; October 20th, 1821_

The firelight danced happily off the walls, a stark contrast to the mood of the girl sitting on the plush scarlet sofa, her knees drawn up to her chin and a textbook lying open on the cushions next to her. She was staring at the fire, watching the flames flicker in the fireplace as the only source of light in the dark room. Having forgotten to put a temporary Everlasting Charm on the torches on the walls, they had extinguished long ago but by no means giving the room a cold appearance. On the contrary, it glowed subtly with the warmth from the fire.

From first glance it would seem as if she wasn't watching anything in particular - her eyes were devoid of emotion, glazed over and full to the brim with tears threatening to spill. Her arms were slung loosely around her knees, her fingers rubbing feather-light circles on her knee caps, almost robotically. Her heartbeat was soft and regular, her breathing slow. But she knew he was coming.

It was a trait Lily noticed she had acquired recently; the air around her would suddenly turn warm, time would stop and her entire being would tingle. The transition from a simple elated feeling to this had been so fast, yet she knew exactly when it had happened, how it had happened and why it had happened. But of course, her stupidity reared it's ugly head and she couldn't face him after … Avoiding him wasn't as easy as she thought it might be, but she had managed it for the past few days and she was hoping that she could hold out another week until the end of term, when she could lock herself in her room under the pretext of revising for the NEWTs.

The torches sprang to life all of a sudden, but Lily only looked up when she heard the portrait hole slam shut. Lifting her gaze from the hypnotizing flames, her eyes met with those of the one she really did not want to meet at that precise moment. He was the one she had been avoiding; he was the one who had caused her to act so inappropriately; he was the one who had made her fall in love with him. He was James Potter.

"What the _fuck_ is going on, Lily?" he demanded, his eyes cold and hard, searching her face for an explanation.

She pulled her eyes away from his, knowing that if she kept staring, she would be pulled into a swirling vortex of hazel and gold. The inevitable consequences would be the same as the event that had occurred five days ago. She deliberately gazed back at the fire and chose to sigh softly in response.

"What do you mean?" Lily questioned carefully, her voice quiet and laced with regret.

Although she couldn't see his face, she knew that James would be sporting an incredulous look in her direction and the frustrated groan that emitted from him was evidence enough to prove her guess correct.

"Don't give me that crap, Lily. You know what I'm talking about and I want an answer."

Lily stood up, her left hand shaking as it pulled her textbook closer to her chest, as if for support. Walking towards the portrait hole, she said, "I'm sorry James, I don't know what you're talking about."

She tried going past him to get to the entrance, but his fingers deftly wrapped themselves around her right wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She swallowed hard and attempted to pull her wrist from his grasp, but he was too strong. Unbidden and unwanted, the memory of five nights prior came flooding back to her as she closed her eyes, half revelling in the familiarity and warmth of his proximity, half willing herself to run …

_**… simplicity …** _

_Lily's giggles rang throughout the locker room, echoing off the walls, her figure shaking as she fell back onto the bench. James looked at her disbelievingly, covered from head to toe in green paint and felt a smile forming on his face; it wasn't long before he, too, was convulsing with laughter, and the two could be found lying on the floor, trying to catch their breath._

_"I have a feeling I've corrupted you," James said, finally having calmed down enough to form a coherent sentence. "Last year you wouldn't have dared to come in here, let alone charm my locker to spurt paint at me."_

_She burst into a fresh peal of laughter and once her giggles had subsided, Lily raised a challenging eyebrow at him. "Oh really?" she said, a look of feigned innocence on her face. "Ever wonder who charmed your watch to shout out idiotic comments to the professors at the end of last year?"_

_"That was you?!" James exclaimed. "I yelled at Sirius like hell for that, and all this time it was you?" He sat up, leaning casually against the bench, and fixed her with a look of appraisal. "Never knew you had it in you, Lily."_

_"I'm full of surprises!" Lily stated with a mysterious smile, flicking her hair over her shoulder._

_James shook his head at her and lifted himself up. Looking himself up and down and grinning at the green paint that had dried in blotches all over him, staining his Quidditch robes, he pulled Lily up and pushed her gently out of the locker room. Stating that he needed a shower, he closed and locked the door, leaving Lily to admire her handiwork once again._

_It was drizzling lightly as she wandered out onto the Quidditch Pitch, waiting for James. The tiny droplets of water caught in her hair and glittered like miniature jewels as her red locks swished from side to side. Lily twirled about in the rain, the euphoria of having won the Quidditch Final of that year still very much present, and thinking idly about James._

_She wasn't quite sure why, but had her suspicions for the reason, every time she saw him her mood would brighten; she knew that he always had ways of making her smile, but then again, so did Sirius and he didn't affect her in this way. There was just something about James, she thought as she sighed happily to herself, that made her want to run and jump about the place like a lunatic._

_Of course, the look on his face when he opened his locker to be sprayed with bright green paint did nothing to suppress her insane desire to grab him and kiss him. He had looked too adorable for it to be legal and it took all of Lily's willpower to sit tight and be content with laughing hysterically at his appearance. It didn't help much, either, when he decided to sit himself right next to her; Lily swore her heart had been beating louder and faster than normal._

_She had never taken much time to sit and think about the consequences; Lily was a dreamer and didn't like to dwell too long on the negative points. Not that the outcome would necessarily be negative - she just wasn't sure how James felt about it all, and at the moment she was quite content with the current situation. She was sure that it was just a simple infatuation, and that she would be over it in no time._

_Lost in her thoughts, Lily hadn't noticed the drizzle turn into a shower until she heard James' voice over the splashes of water. All she felt as she looked up at him was his warm hands grasping her shoulders and leading her to shelter under the stands; as soon as they were out of the rain, his hands did not leave their place, but instead began rubbing up and down her arms, warming her up and causing tingles to travel along her spine._

_"You could have caught a cold out there," James whispered into her ear, waking her from her trance-like state._

_Shaking her head slightly, Lily grinned up at him. "You're just jealous because you would have looked like a right idiot jumping about the place like me," she countered._

_"You know me so well, Lil," he joked as he let go of her, satisfied that she was warm enough, and leant against the wall, his own arms crossed over his chest. Lily immediately missed the heat of his hands and the light pressure they applied on her arms; her heart fluttered at the sound of his deep laughter._

_She studied his face, her eyes taking in every inch of his features - his hair was still wet from his shower, and even more so now after being out in the rain; droplets of water were scattered across the lenses of his glasses, disappearing quickly as they evaporated in the spring heat; the hazel eyes behind the glasses twinkled with an emotion Lily couldn't quite place; he was completely free from the green paint, but a small bruise adorned his left cheek. Lily frowned as she saw it and leaned forward to get a closer look._

_James, noticing her gaze on his bruise, smiled lightly and shook his head. "It's nothing; Phipps wasn't too happy that his team lost, so he just tried to sock me one. Sirius stopped him before he could do much damage, though."_

_"But, James … when did this happen? Why didn't I see it?" Lily asked, a mixture of anger and worry flooding her mind. She reached out with her hand and ran her thumb softly over the bruise. "Does it hurt?" she breathed, gazing up at him._

_He closed his eyes for a moment, swallowing hard, and when he reopened them they were unreadable. "Not much," he said just as quietly. "Not when you're with me."_

_His arms wrapped themselves around her waist, pulling her closer to him; warning bells went off in Lily's head, but she paid no heed to them. She was in too deep now. She lifted her arms and placed them around James' neck, her fingers weaving themselves into his messy hair. Leaning forward an inch, her lips brushed against his bruise and she pulled back just a little. His nose rubbed affectionately against hers as her eyes closed and she emitted a sigh of anticipation; James pressed his own lips against hers and pulled her into a soft kiss._

_Lily tugged lightly at his hair and let out a sound of satisfaction. He pulled her even closer to him, deepening the kiss, and held her tight, his hands tickling her waist slightly as his fingers gripped her. She had no need for oxygen - James was enough for her to live on - and he, too, held on to her as if she was the only thing more important to him than breathing._

_She had no idea how long they stood there under the stands, but all it took was a moan from James to bring the world crashing down on her. Her eyes snapped open and she used all her strength to push James away from her, gasping for air as she did so. The realisation of what had just happened between them hit her hard and she couldn't believe that the situation had led to this._

_"Lily- " James began, his voice only accentuating the truth of their actions._

_But Lily shook her head as tears sprang to her eyes and her hand flew to her mouth. She did the only thing she could do; she ran. Leaving James hurt and confused under the stands, Lily ran across the Quidditch Pitch, across the school grounds and up the steps to the castle. She couldn't believe what she had just done - she had ruined a perfectly good friendship, all just because of her inability to keep her emotions and feelings under control._

_Damn it._

_**… simplicity …** _

Lily reopened her eyes to the present, frowning to find her eyesight blurred with tears. Inwardly cursing herself at being affected to this extent, she emitted a soft sob, a single tear falling down her cheek.

James tugged on Lily's hand, trying to make her turn and face him, but she stayed frozen in her position. She felt him release her wrist, but before she could take one step forward, his hands settled themselves on her shoulders and turned her around to face him. He lifted a hand from her shoulder and cupped her chin, gently forcing Lily to look at him. Her green eyes shone brightly in the fire and torch light, and the tear streaks on her cheeks were prominent - his anger and frustration at her dissipated.

His hand softly wiped away her tears, but more fell at his actions. His heart constricted painfully; seeing Lily hurt like this was killing him, and he thought he may possibly know the reason why.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice low and deep.

Lily shook her head mutely and brushed her tears away roughly. She sniffed, failing to hold back the multitude of tears building up in her eyes and she frowned again.

"Tell me," James tried again, willing to push her until he got the right answer, the answer he wanted.

She shook her head again. "It's nothing, James," she whispered. "I'm fine." Lily turned to leave but James' hand on her arm held her back.

"What do you mean 'it's nothing'?" James demanded. "You and I both know it's much more than that if it's made you upset enough to cry and avoid me."

"Seriously, James," Lily replied. "I'm fine, and I'm not avoiding you. There's nothing to worry about." She gasped as James shook her lightly, agitated at her efforts to avoid him. Why was she doing this; why wouldn't she tell him?

"Don't lie to me, Lily!" he said. "You've been avoiding me for the past five days and I can see it in your eyes that you're hurt about something, and I want to help. A friend can't bear to see a friend" - here he gulped, closing his eyes momentarily - "upset. Let me help you, Lil, there's got to be something I can do. Tell me what's going on."

Lily pulled herself from James' hold, breathing heavily and shaking. She wasn't used to being this close to him anymore and it was making her slightly dizzy. "Why do you care? What does it matter to you?"

His eyes widened in shock and hurt at her words. "Of course I care," he whispered. "Of course I care. Friends care for each other, Lily. Friends see each others' pain-"

"And friends are supposed to know what the other is feeling, right?" Lily interrupted. "Why can't you see it, then? Why are you oblivious to everything that is going on around you to not see that I-"

She stopped abruptly, catching herself before she said too much. Throwing her text book on the sofa, Lily massaged her temples with her fingers, muttering to herself under her breath and began walking towards the stairs leading to her room. James foresaw this and grabbed her shoulders once more.

"No," he said. "You're not going anywhere until you give me a decent explanation as to what is happening. Why am I so oblivious to not see that you what? Finish what you were saying."

Lily kept her head down, her eyes looking anywhere and everywhere but his face. "I - no, it's not important, forget it."

"I am _not_ going to forget this, Lily Evans, because it involves me as much as it involves you." He waited for her to say something and when she didn't, he continued. "This is about that day after the Quidditch Final, isn't it?" His assumption was proven correct as he felt Lily stiffen at the mention of the incident, and he stepped closer to her.

"I'm not the oblivious one, Lily, it's you. You can't see that it's killing me to see you like this, to have you kiss me and then avoid and ignore me completely. I can't stand it; I feel like I'm breaking into a million pieces and I'm afraid that I've done something wrong, ruined any chance that we have to be together because in reality, I love you, Lily. I _love_ you."

James ran his thumb over her lips, wanting nothing more than to hold her close to him forever, and rested his forehead against hers. He saw her eyes close and did the same, feeling her breath fan across his cheeks. "I need you with me because I'll die without you, Lily. I kissed you that day because … I don't even have a reason. I wanted to, I needed to, and I know that you feel the same; don't deny it. Just please put me out of my misery and tell me you love me, too, Lily. _Please_ ," he pleaded, his voice begging her.

Lily raised her eyes slowly; his were still closed and he was breathing deeply. The bruise on his left cheek was still visible. She wanted desperately to say something, to tell him something. But she didn't know what to say. She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but nothing came out. 

James opened his eyes and watched her for an answer, any indication of her feelings, but received nothing. The pain of rejection settling in his chest, he nodded in understanding and released Lily from his grasp. Tears pricked his eyes as he saw her looking up at him and he attempted to smile and laugh it off. But the pain was too much. Slowly, without a glance backwards, he made his way upstairs to his room, hoping to hold his tears in until he at least reached the top of the staircase.

Lily was left to stare at the spot previously occupied by James, missing his proximity, his warmth, his entire being, in front of her. She let out a deep shaky breath and the tears fell silently from her eyes as she realised her mistake. Actions speak louder than words; so why didn't she just _show_ him how much she loved him instead of attempting to say something? She frowned, frustrated at her stupidity, and sank down onto the sofa.

Curling up into the cushions and wrapping her arms around herself, attempting to reclaim some of the warmth she was lacking, Lily watched the flames until they reduced to ashes, falling asleep some time later. Not surprisingly, her dreams were filled with him and his captivating kisses.

_**… simplicity …** _

"Do you know how much the two of you are killing each other?"

Lily glanced at Sirius' reflection in her mirror, lounging in her armchair and watching her like a hawk. She sighed, putting her hairbrush down, and turned to face him.

"What do you want me to do?" she asked tiredly.

Sirius surveyed the girl sitting before him, his dark eyes taking in her exhausted appearance; dim circles had formed under her once-bright eyes, giving away her lack of sleep, and her posture was slightly slouched and worn out. In the past week, her face had begun to hold the look of a deeply confused young woman. Her liveliness and cheery character had lost their touch and it was as if a part of her had died.

"Honestly speaking," Sirius said after a moment's silence, "I don't know what happened between you and James." As Lily opened her mouth to speak, he held up a hand to silence her. "And I doubt I need to know. I don't think it's about what _I_ want you to do; it's about what _you_ want to do."

Lily scoffed and threw her hands into the air in exasperation. "There's just one minor problem with that, Sirius," she said sarcastically. "I _don't know_ what the bloody hell I want to do!"

Rising up from her seat at her dressing table, Lily wandered idly towards the window, next to the armchair Sirius was sitting in. She gazed out of the window, watching the trees wave their branches in the April wind as the tiny petals of blossom scattered across the grounds, fusing the green of the grass with the light pink of the petals. Her green eyes, having roved over the expanse of landscape in front of her, finally settled on a figure flying around the Quidditch Pitch. Although she couldn't make out who it was, the violent increase in the beating of her heart gave her an idea.

James loved to fly; whatever the time, whatever the weather, he was usually found soaring around the Quidditch Pitch when he thought he had nothing else to do. Lily knew only too well that it was an escape from reality for him; most of the times that she had followed him outside while he was flying involved his confusion or indecision over a particular matter, and she was willing to bet that this time was no different.

He fit so well out there in the skies - it was as if flying was a sport made for and because of him. She didn't know of anyone else who had a more natural talent at flying than James Potter, and she didn't think that she would, either.

"I think," Sirius' voice broke the silence, "you need to go out there and tell him. Tell him everything, don't hold anything back. Because, after all, you'll only succeed in hurting yourself and him even more."

Lily wrenched her gaze from the figure who was now falling into a descent to the dark-haired boy beside her. She saw the love and worry in his eyes for his best friend, his brother, and tried to smile at him.

"What should I tell him? That I couldn't say anything before because putting it into words was too real for me? That every time I close my eyes I see the look on his face that night and hate myself for not being able to say what I wanted to say? That I've been chasing him, looking for him these past couple of days to say what I want to say but can't because he's avoiding me?" With each statement, Lily's voice grew higher and shriller until it finally broke by the time she had almost screamed out the last word. She brought her hands to her face, her shoulders shaking as the tears leaked out of her eyes.

Suddenly, as if realising that she shouldn't be crying, her head snapped up and she wiped her cheeks free of tears. A look of determination, combined with apprehension, crossed her face and she snatched her cloak from Sirius' offering hands. She didn't see the slow grin that was appearing on his face and muttered a quick "thanks" before storming out of her bedroom, with the sole purpose of knocking some "bloody sense into that damn James Potter".

Sirius chuckled as he turned to the window, hands in his pockets, and looked over to the Quidditch Pitch.

"You've got yourself one fiery witch here, Prongs."

_**… simplicity …** _

James sighed as the wind flew through his hair, ruffling it further. He had been flying for the past fifteen or twenty minutes but it wasn't clearing his mind any more than it already was; with a slight flick of the wrist, his broom began its descent to the ground. Once he landed, he shouldered his broom and headed towards the changing room.

He had been so sure that Lily felt the same - he wasn't blind, he had noticed her growing friendliness, occasional blushes, unwillingness to inflict bodily harm upon him without giving him a fair warning … James grinned lightly to himself at the last one. She seemed prepared to hit and harm the others without any qualms, so why did James suddenly start receiving exemption from that?

The grin slipped off his face as he remembered her blatant rejection of his love a mere week ago, and his mind grew serious again. It was obvious to everyone - except for her. Either that or she didn't want to admit it, for whatever reason.

Had he been too forward? Should he have waited until she mentioned it herself? Well, that hadn't got them anywhere, as she had been avoiding him and it had taken him a good five days after that kiss to track her down and corner her in their private quarters so that she would at least _look_ in his direction. She hadn't even been doing that since they kissed underneath the stands.

James' mind lingered back to that rainy day. It hadn't been unpleasantly wet; the showers had just started once the match had finished. And she had looked so beautiful, dancing in the rain by herself, the droplets of water shining in her dark red hair. It was a wonder he had restrained himself from kissing her while she laughed and played. But he couldn't have - there was no way on _earth_ that he could have - stopped himself as she caressed his bruise; James would give a lifetime just to have her slender fingers run over his face once more. And her lips had been so soft, so appealing … it wasn't possible for him, given his already lovesick state, to keep himself from kissing her.

He pushed open the door, pausing for a fraction of a second, then shook the thoughts out of his head and moved to pull his towel out of his locker. Lily's hysterical giggle echoed in his mind and he froze for a little bit longer this time, before cursing himself and heading off towards the showers.

"You're in way too deep, Potter," he muttered to himself. "It's going to be difficult pulling yourself out."

_**… simplicity …** _

Lily stormed down the corridors of the ancient stone castle, casting glares at anyone who happened to step into her path. Those who _did_ have the misfortune to fall under that category were wise enough to move out of her way as quickly as possible; after all, Lily Evans was not a force to be reckoned with when angry. The only one stupid (or clever) enough to challenge that theory was the one she was going to meet.

"Stupid git didn't even bother to wait until I gave him my response," she was muttering as she stalked through the large oak doors. Pulling her cloak closer to her small frame against the mildly chilly air surrounding her, Lily followed the path to the Quidditch Pitch, hoping against hope that James was still there. "Even if he's not, I'll hunt him down with a pitchfork. That'll teach him to avoid me."

Upon reaching the pitch, Lily scanned the sky for his figure; not seeing him on his broom, she made for the Gryffindor Quidditch team's changing rooms, yanking the door open to the sound of the shower running. Her anger slowly dissolved as she glanced around the room, her face flushed as the memories of the last time she had been here came flooding back to her. She tried as hard as she could to block them out - for now - and to concentrate on the task at hand.

She heard the shower stop and began to panic. What was she going to say? It would have been all very well to approach James and tell him the truth if her mind hadn't closed up to any coherent thoughts that night, but the situation was different and she didn't know how he was going to take it. Sirius' words echoed in her mind.

_"Tell him everything, don't hold anything back. Because, after all, you'll only succeed in hurting yourself and him even more."_

Making a split second decision between running and staying, Lily held her head high and a determination in her eyes as she stood her ground. She would tell him. No matter how he took it, she would bloody well tell him how much she loved him. Even if it took the rest of her life.

She glanced back in the general direction of the showers and her heart leapt into her throat seeing James emerging around the corner, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. It was covering his face and, as a result, restricting his view - she had to stifle a giggle when he almost walked into the wall. Lily hid herself behind the lockers, unwilling to face him just yet and attempting to keep her stomach from jumping around so much.

James removed the towel from his head and threw it haphazardly into the laundry basket in the opposite corner of the room. His hair, freshly wet from the shower, was still dripping slightly, leaving trails of water running down his bare chest, and he stretched languidly. Suddenly, in mid-stretch, the hairs on the back of his neck prickled and he swivelled around, his eyes roving over the breadth of the changing rooms.

He didn't see anything - or any _one_ \- there. But that feeling was still evident. That sensation that filled his chest with excitement every time she was around. But she wasn't there. She couldn't be. He would have seen her otherwise. And yet, that familiar feeling was too strong to push aside.

Frustrated, James turned back to his locker and punched the brick wall next to it as hard as he could. A numbing pain flooded his mind as he looked down at the red and bleeding knuckles, and the tears pricked his eyes. Emitting a sound of aggravation, James sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands, barely feeling the pain in his knuckles over the pain in his chest.

Suddenly, he looked up to see a pair of small cold hands encircle his knuckles and rub them softly, careful not to scratch away any raw skin. Lily's eyes were deliberately lowered, he noticed, and a light blush tinged her already rosy cheeks; James felt a sense of pride in the fact that it was their proximity that had caused that blush. He straightened up, pulling her hands with his.

She was well aware of his scrutinising gaze - it was times like these when she felt that he could see straight through her, to her soul. She hadn't been able to stop herself from crying out softly when she witnessed his actions, and holding back didn't seem to be an option anymore. His frustration and tension was obvious and she didn't want to see him so vulnerable and lost anymore.

"What are you doing?" James asked quietly.

Lily looked up in confusion, and he gestured to her hands covering his right one, repeating the question.

Her cheeks flamed even more. "You're hurt," she whispered back, her eyes boring into his, probing for a reaction. She had to prove to him that he wasn't the only one; she had to show him, tell him how much she loved him.

As James watched her, he saw the same determination, apprehension, fear and … _love?_ Mistaking it for mockery, his expression hardened. Pulling his hand from hers, James stood up from the bench and turned his back on Lily, leaving her to stare at the position he had previously occupied.

"Why do you care?" he asked bitterly. The last thing he wanted was to be made fun of or to be pitied. If she didn't care, he didn't either. If she didn't love him, he didn't love her either. If she didn't want him, he didn't want her either. He could live without her. He would live without her. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Lily looked incredulously up at him. Her eyes were wide and round, the green irises fixed intently on his back, trying to fathom this sudden change in behaviour.

She stood up shakily and clenched her hands into fists. Storming over to where James stood, she yanked him round to face her and forced his gaze to hers. "How dare you. How _dare_ you! Why do I care? Why the hell do you think I care, James?" she shouted, the colour in her cheeks increasing in its hues by the second.

"I don't know - why _do_ you care?" James yelled back. "I thought that maybe you'd feel the same way. After being so close, I would have thought that maybe we would be able to be more than just friends. I just - argh!" He threw his hands up in the air and, turning his back to her, let out a sound of frustration. Facing her once more, he said, "I'm so in love with you I can't even think straight, Lily. _Try to understand_. If you don't love me, please don't come here and mock me."

Understanding flashed across Lily's face. She tentatively reached out a hand to his bare shoulder, a jolt racing through her entire body at the thought of touching him, but he took a step back, leaving her hand suspended in mid-air. She frowned at his actions and stepped towards him, her hand outstretched once more.

James shook his head and stepped back again, coming to lean against the lockers sullenly. He crossed his arms across his chest stubbornly and stared down at the floor.

"Please leave me alone," he said, his deep voice echoing off the walls. "I was fine until now, but I don't think I'll be able to stop myself anymore."

Lily moved forward so that she was standing in front of him, so close that she could see her own reflection in his hazel eyes. One hand went up to brush the unruly bangs, still damp, from his face; the other let its fingers run over his bruise. James' eyes closed shut and his breathing became harsh and irregular.

A small smile on her face, Lily asked, "Stop yourself from doing what, exactly?"

Her slender fingers were now sliding over his left cheek and behind his head, resting at the nape of his neck. They played with the stray hairs as James groaned.

"Lily …" he warned, his eyes opening a sliver.

She ignored him. "Stop yourself from doing what, exactly?" she repeated as her face moved closer to his.

James opened his eyes fully and used all his might to push Lily away from him. "Don't play games with me," he stated gruffly. "I'm sick and tired of this cat and mouse game we've been playing for the past two weeks. Just go."

"I'm not leaving, James. I don't want to play games either, which is why I came here in the first place." Lily let out a shaky breath, wrapping her arms around herself to compensate for the loss of warmth she had felt in James' proximity. Sirius' words ran through her mind once more and she felt encouraged. 

"I'm not mocking you. I just couldn't say anything that night because … because it was all so real. It was new to me, feeling this way about you, and the fact that we had kissed" - here she blushed furiously - "after the Quidditch Final just seemed to intensify my feelings tenfold. I didn't know what to do, because you hadn't given any indication that you liked me too and I thought it was so ironic that once we became close friends I started to fall for you."

She took a deep breath and continued, "When you told me that you loved me, I don't know what I was thinking. Whatever it was, it clouded my mind and I wanted to tell you that I love you too, but every time I tried to open my mouth I couldn't say anything because I felt like I was setting it in stone if I did. The moment you left, I wanted to call you back and shout it out to the world but something was holding me back and I hate that it made you think I don't feel the same."

Lily glanced up from her hands to James, who had moved closer to her as she had been speaking. His eyes held a hope that filled her insides with warmth and serenity; he looked so hopeful her heart couldn't help but constrict tightly with love for him. She was amazed at how one had the power and ability to love someone so much - her love for James was overwhelming, and it had barely been present for a fortnight. _What will it be like three years from now?_ , she wondered.

Hesitantly reaching up, her hand cupped his face and she smiled softly at him. His arms automatically pulled her even closer to him, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers.

"Tell me," he whispered. Lily looked up at him questioningly. "Tell me you love me."

She averted her gaze from his eyes and bit her lip shyly. James lifted a hand from her waist and placed it under her chin, directing her gaze back at him. Embarrassed, she threw her arms around his neck and buried her head into his chest, tightening her hold on him by the second as if she was afraid he would disappear.

"I love you," Lily sighed against his skin.

James returned her embrace just as fiercely and his stomach somersaulted inside of him, his bare skin burning with the feel of hers on his. Resting his head on top of hers, he grinned stupidly and drew soothing circles on her back.

"I love you, too," he murmured into her hair, his eyes closed in contentment. "Never do this again - you almost killed me when you didn't answer me that night."

Lily simply smiled and responded by lifting her head and pulling his mouth down to meet hers.

Outside, the rain was falling gently, blossoms scattered among the raindrops, onto the school grounds. Their unhurried descent from the heavens matched the languid, almost lazy, actions of the pair of teenagers in the changing rooms. There was no hurry; after all, they had their whole lives ahead of them. 


End file.
